ok, it's been decided. we are moving to the carribean and opening a dive/surf shop, also specializing in wind chimes and sea shell crafts. if you have any skills or suggestions to add- we are accepting applications.

[i love you honey]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

At first, the yellow "Livestrong" wrist bands seemed like a nice way to donate to cancer research and remember cancer patients. However, it has become more and more clear that the real reason most people wear the bands is to show everyone that they were generous enough to spend $1 on fighting diseases that kill a million people in the US per year. I think people who want to wear the bands should instead wear a shirt that says, "I'm more generous than your selfish ass because I spent $1 on fighting cancer on my way to spending $75 on shoes and another $150 on a couple of shirts I'll never wear." Everywhere I go these days I hear of another gimmick people are doing to take advantage of this craze. Whether it's the pink "breast cancer bands," the blue "hope" bands, the orange "LLYWD" bands, or the numerous other bands I've been fortunate enough to forget about, it's sickening the way people try to make themselves look better than everyone else. If you want to donate to cancer research, I think it's wonderful. But please don't go around advertising the fact that you spent a measly dollar on it.